A Smile and a Nod

Written as a guest blogger for the Gdiapers blog Diaper therapy

Before I had a baby I thought the hardest part would be the diaper changes, or possibly the feedings, nothing could've prepared me for what was to trump my biggest baddest fears…..other parents.

From the day I stepped out of that Sierra Vista hospital with Madison ive been subject to one of the following responses by other parents:

    1)      Where is the mother? (This is the overwhelmingly largest question im asked)

    2)      You’re taking her out by yourself?

    3)      Do you need me to hold the baby for you while you do (whatever im currently attempting to do)

Even worse than the above three, just yesterday I heard the cringe worthy “GOOD JOB DAD!!” because I had dared to take her out in her push car.  At times it’s enough to make me want to throw in the towel and not leave the house until she is able to drive, or at the very least tote around a female companion to quell the constant stares, questions, and assumptions.

Perhaps the most irritating time was when I was at the airport flying alone with her at approximately the age of 9 months. In a thick creole accent the bag check guy asked “Where’s the mama??” to which I replied “It’s just her and myself this trip”. His reply: “Yeah, likely story”, as if a male is incapable of taking care of a baby.

At first I used to offer an explanation, that my husband and I had adopted her so there is no “mother”, or rather that I was the one who filled that role, but that became too time consuming. Next I began to just say, “I’m the mother”, which of course opens a whole other line of questions and stares. So now I just smile and nod and leave it at that, it works well for me as people really don’t need to know my life story.

And when I stop to dissect why questions 1, 2, and 3 are so bothersome, aside from the obvious that I have to answer the same question yet again, I can scarcely blame the people asking the question. Nosey-ness is a bad trait, however it’s a trait we as humans are all cursed with, so I cannot hold that against them. Its that people assume a male can’t put his bumbling aside for a few hours a day in order to take their child out.

There is another layer to the story and one that is not completely lost on me even in my day to day irritations with the outside world.  Stereotypes, however bad they may be, usually have a root in reality and the truth is many men would NOT be good at of taking care of a baby, but then again neither would many women.  The sexism that tells women that they are baby machines and incapable of anything else, is the same sexism that tells men they are laugh-worthy, bumbling idiots and are only good for bringing home the bacon….or in my case, the vegetarian strips.

Moral of the story? Sexism hurts us all. Don’t assume next time you see  a man with a baby and a cart of groceries that the mom is home sick in bed and he is ‘stuck’ with the kids for the afternoon. Maybe he is the caregiver in the family,  or maybe he Is the ONLY family the child has. Before you ask him about his life story or ask (as a complete stranger) to hold his baby so he doesn't spill his beer all over it, or drop it in front of a moving car, you just enjoy the sight of someone breaking gender stereotypes.

A simple smile will do. 

First time in the backyard.

I would say it was a success, she looked, sat, and looked some more before giving me that "OK, we're done here" look.

Well technically the second if you count the ill fated attempt at playing in the snow for the first time last winter, but i swore i would never speak of that again.

The next step will be attempting to build a sandbox....this promises to be good. 

Buttermilk Biscuits are DIVINE

One of the main staples of a country kitchen is atmosphere, how you feel when you walk in and sit down. And what better way to establish atmosphere than a heaping pile of fresh buttermilk biscuits right out of the oven.

How do you make them you ask?

Its easy, and then again its not. I had to do trial and error multiple times before i worked out the kinks to figure out exactly what it needed to be perfect. 

These are the basic tips that can give you mountainous flaky buttery biscuits. 

1) Think cold, think FROZEN, the colder your ingredients are the better it will come out. I freeze my buttermilk when i get it so that when im ready to go i just pop them out of the trays and toss them in the microwave until they are just melted enough to work with (but still COLD!), Its also good because it makes your buttermilk last a long time if you don't use it every day. I also freeze my butter, when its time to use it i cut it with a large knife into small bits as fast as i can. Additionally i keep my flour refrigerated, not a necessity  but it doesn't hurt. 

2) Don't touch it more than you have to. I suppose this goes back to number one, but thats how important it is. Cut in the ingredients and use tools instead of hands to incorporate, the heat from your hands can melt the butter. When i cut in my (frozen) butter i barely cut it in enough to be incorporated. you can actually see chunks of butter in the dough and this is good. 

3) Make sure it's rolled THICK before you cut it, at least 3/4 of an inch. If not you wont get that rise that you need for it to be a flaky biscuit. after you combine the wet and dry ingredients do a few quick turns on a floured surface to get it ready to be rolled and cut. 

4) Use a cast iron skillet. Anyone who uses them can tell you, they are magic. They make everything taste better, and no thats not an exaggeration. If you put them on too thin of a surface to bake the bottom will cook too fast and they will be too hard on the bottom.

That's basically it, whether you use this recipe or another if you follow those four tips you will be good to go. 

4 cups of flour

2 cups of buttermilk

4 teaspoons of baking powder 

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1-2 teaspoons of salt

2 sticks of butter (unsalted)

Pre-heat oven to 375

combine the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl

cut in the butter using a pastry cutter if you dont have one you can use two knives. (if you use frozen butter cut it into small pieces before adding to the flour)

add the buttermilk

Gather ingredients and turn dough onto floured surface

Do a (very) few quick kneads until it is the right elasticity to roll out and cut. 

Roll to 1" thick (very important)

Cut using a cup or biscuit cutter make sure they are large (3 inches across)

Place in cast iron skillet, or pyrex dish if you dont have a cast iron skillet. 

Bake for 20 minutes or until tops are lightly browned. 

Brush tops with salted butter when done. 

Spring is here, time to garden.

One of my favorite things used to be spending time working in the yard., this was when i actually had time to spend doing anything except change diapers and clean up baby toys. Now since we have moved into a new home i have a nice little plot of land in the back with just enough space (and sunlight) to do a comfortable size garden.

Apparently the house sat for at least one and a half years before we moved in and the previous owners put very little time and effort into taking care of it so its been quite a chore getting it ready for fruits and veggies.

This weekend consisted of digging up every little rock in the garden (and there were more than quite a few LARGE ones as well), tilling it, putting down compost, then fresh topsoil. After that was done in went the plants!

We've got strawberries, and every variety of heirloom tomato you could want. Next came building an outdoor compost bin. It went surprisingly well considering i had no idea what i was doing. I just saved a palette from a previous delivery and then stopped by home depot to snag one of their. A few hours of banging later plus i built a nice little frame. All thats needed is a some strong chicken wire then its all done.

WALKING!

Its been a harrowing experience, seeing her start to walk that is....but milestones are always bittersweet. My biggest fear is her running off and getting hit by a truck (thanks Pet Semetary), or running into the corner of a table, but all attempts to prevent the inevitable have failed.

So here we are.

I suppose i should be happy, the next step is getting a job and taking out the trash right? Based on my observations so far as the all powerful all knowing "Papa", i would guess she would excel as a food smearer, or possibly as a water spiller. Whatever she chooses ill be right there cheering her on!

Go Madison, GO!