A Smile and a Nod

Written as a guest blogger for the Gdiapers blog Diaper therapy

Before I had a baby I thought the hardest part would be the diaper changes, or possibly the feedings, nothing could've prepared me for what was to trump my biggest baddest fears…..other parents.

From the day I stepped out of that Sierra Vista hospital with Madison ive been subject to one of the following responses by other parents:

    1)      Where is the mother? (This is the overwhelmingly largest question im asked)

    2)      You’re taking her out by yourself?

    3)      Do you need me to hold the baby for you while you do (whatever im currently attempting to do)

Even worse than the above three, just yesterday I heard the cringe worthy “GOOD JOB DAD!!” because I had dared to take her out in her push car.  At times it’s enough to make me want to throw in the towel and not leave the house until she is able to drive, or at the very least tote around a female companion to quell the constant stares, questions, and assumptions.

Perhaps the most irritating time was when I was at the airport flying alone with her at approximately the age of 9 months. In a thick creole accent the bag check guy asked “Where’s the mama??” to which I replied “It’s just her and myself this trip”. His reply: “Yeah, likely story”, as if a male is incapable of taking care of a baby.

At first I used to offer an explanation, that my husband and I had adopted her so there is no “mother”, or rather that I was the one who filled that role, but that became too time consuming. Next I began to just say, “I’m the mother”, which of course opens a whole other line of questions and stares. So now I just smile and nod and leave it at that, it works well for me as people really don’t need to know my life story.

And when I stop to dissect why questions 1, 2, and 3 are so bothersome, aside from the obvious that I have to answer the same question yet again, I can scarcely blame the people asking the question. Nosey-ness is a bad trait, however it’s a trait we as humans are all cursed with, so I cannot hold that against them. Its that people assume a male can’t put his bumbling aside for a few hours a day in order to take their child out.

There is another layer to the story and one that is not completely lost on me even in my day to day irritations with the outside world.  Stereotypes, however bad they may be, usually have a root in reality and the truth is many men would NOT be good at of taking care of a baby, but then again neither would many women.  The sexism that tells women that they are baby machines and incapable of anything else, is the same sexism that tells men they are laugh-worthy, bumbling idiots and are only good for bringing home the bacon….or in my case, the vegetarian strips.

Moral of the story? Sexism hurts us all. Don’t assume next time you see  a man with a baby and a cart of groceries that the mom is home sick in bed and he is ‘stuck’ with the kids for the afternoon. Maybe he is the caregiver in the family,  or maybe he Is the ONLY family the child has. Before you ask him about his life story or ask (as a complete stranger) to hold his baby so he doesn't spill his beer all over it, or drop it in front of a moving car, you just enjoy the sight of someone breaking gender stereotypes.

A simple smile will do. 

Diapers Diapers, Diapers

One of the most important first steps i took on he long road of fatherhood was deciding what to cover my babes bottom in. Disposable diapers weren't an option  because, dolphins and whales and blah blah blah, so my attention next turned to cloth diapers. Cloth diapers are about as old fashioned and romantic as it gets when it comes to child rearing, only second to having a morning delivery of milk from the friendly neighborhood milkman, but the work! The idea of washing, drying, folding et al of diapers was a bit daunting, not to mention the idea of the leaks and smells.

SO my attention turned to a hybrid by the name of G-diapers

The exterior is cloth, and there is a plastic liner which runs the length of the diaper 

and inside the liner is a giant maxi pad type contraption that absorbs all manner of ick. When she goes pee or poo i just remove the liner, either flush, toss, or (if im feeling adventurous) compost then replace the pad and we're done. Occasionally the plastic part will get a bit of poo on it, but that comes off in a snap (literally) by removing the plastic liner, rinsing it, giving it a rub with a bleach pen, then hanging over the sink to dry. 

To flush the pad just yank, rip, then drop in the toilet and swish around using the patented swish stick. Something i used to do, but considering its biodegradable i don't have too much guilt sending it to the local landfill knowing it wont be there TOO long. 

If asked to review Gdiapers, and i know you're totally asking, the only con i would list would be that they dont offer nighttime pads and since the mini-me sleeps from 9 pm to 7 am usually she wakes up with a wet front. If they made a nighttime variety i would certainly purchase it as she needs extra absorption in the overnight hours. Maybe ill try doubling it. Maybe not. 

If you plan to sell them as you go up in sizes, and trust me you will want to as they go through sizes every 4 or 5 months, i suggest hand washing and line drying. That way the velcro stays nice and taught and it ends up looking good as new wear after wear. 

HAPPY DIAPERING!!!